Innocent at Large Read online

  * * * * *

  Sam blocked the doorway with his shoulders as he entered the room.Doran followed like a diminutive tug pushing a very large liner. Theyclosed the door. Matheny stood up, avoiding Sam's glare.

  ”Okay, louse,” said Sam. ”You got a better pal here than you deserve,but he ain't managed to talk me into settling for nothing.”

  ”Let me get this--I mean--well,” said Matheny. ”Look, sir, you claimthat I, I mean that your wife and I were, uh, well, we weren't. I wasonly visiting--”

  ”Stow it, stow it.” Sam towered over the Martian. ”Shoot it to theMoon. You had your fun. It'll cost you. One million dollars.”

  ”_One mil_--But--but--Gus,” wailed Matheny, ”this is out of all reason!I thought you said--”

  Doran shrugged. ”I am sorry, Pete. I could not get him any fartherdown. He started asking fifty. You better pay him.”

  ”No!” Matheny scuttled behind a chair. ”No, look here! I, Peter Mathenyof the Martian Republic, declare you are blackmailing me!”

  ”I'm asking compensation for damages,” growled Sam. ”Hand it over orI'll go talk to a lawyer. That ain't blackmail. You got your choice,don't you?”

  Matheny wilted. ”Yes.”

  ”A megabuck isn't so bad, Pete,” soothed Doran. ”I personally will seethat you earn it back in--”

  ”Oh, never mind.” Tears stood in Matheny's eyes. ”You win.” He took outhis checkbook.

  ”None of that,” rapped Sam. ”Cash. Now.”

  ”But you claimed this was a legitimate--”

  ”You heard me.”

  ”Well--could I have a receipt?” begged Matheny.

  Sam grinned.

  ”I just thought I'd ask,” said Matheny. He opened a drawer and countedout one hundred ten-kilo-buck bills. ”There! And, and, and I hope youchoke on it!”

  Sam stuffed the money in a pocket and lumbered out.

  Doran lingered. ”Look here, Pete,” he said, ”I will make this up toyou. Honest. All you have got to do is trust me.”

  ”Sure.” Matheny slumped on the bed. ”Not your fault. Let me alone for awhile, will you?”

  ”Listen, I will come back in a few hours and buy you the best dinner inall the Protectorates and--”

  ”Sure,” said Matheny. ”Sure.”

  Doran left, closing the door with great gentleness.

  * * * * *

  He returned at 1730, entered, and stopped dead. The floor space washalf taken up by a screen and a film projector.

  ”What happened, Pete?” he asked uncertainly.

  Matheny smiled. ”I took some tourist movies,” he said. ”Self-developingsoundtrack film. Sit down and I'll show you.”

  ”Well, thanks, but I am not so much for home movies.”

  ”It won't take long. Please.”

  Doran shrugged, found a chair and took out a cigarette. ”You seempretty well cheered up now,” he remarked. ”That is a spirit I like tosee. You have got to have faith.”

  ”I'm thinking of a sideline business in live photography,” said theMartian. ”Get back my losses of today, you know.”

  ”Well, now, Pete, I like your spirit, like I say. But if you are reallyinterested in making some of that old baroom, and I think you are,then listen--”

  ”I'll sell prints to people for home viewing,” went on Matheny. ”I'dlike your opinion of this first effort.”

  He dimmed the transparency and started the projector. The screen spranginto colored motion. Sam Wendt blocked the doorway with his shoulders.

  ”Who knows, I might even sell you one of the several prints I madetoday,” said Matheny.

  ”Okay, louse,” said Sam.

  ”Life is hard on Mars,” commented Matheny in an idle tone, ”and we'rean individualistic culture. The result is pretty fierce competition,though on a person-to-person rather than organizational basis. Allfriendly enough, but--Oh, by the way, how do you like our Martiancamera technology? I wore this one inside my buttonhole.”

  Doran in the screen shrugged and said: ”I am sorry, Pete.” Doran inthe chair stubbed out his cigarette, very carefully, and asked, ”Howmuch do you want for that film?”

  ”Would a megabuck be a fair price?” inquired Matheny.

  ”Uh ... huh.”

  ”Of course, I am hoping Sam will want a copy too.”

  Doran swallowed. ”Yeah. Yes, I think I can talk him into it.”

  ”Good.” Matheny stopped the projector. He sat down on the edge ofthe table, swinging one leg, and lit his pipe. Its bowl glowed inthe dimness like the eye of a small demon. ”By the way,” he saidirrelevantly, ”if you check the newscast tapes, you'll find I wasrunner-up in last year's all-Martian pistol contest. It's a toughcontest to win. There are no bad shots on Mars--survival of thefittest, you know.”

  * * * * *

  Doran wet his lips. ”Uh, no hard feelings. No, none at all. But say,in case you are, well, you know, looking for a slipstring, what I camehere for was to tell you I have located the very guy you want. Only heis in jail right now, see, and it will cost--”

  ”Oh, no!” groaned Matheny. ”Not the Syrtis Prospector! Kids are taughtthat swindle in kindergarten.”

  Doran bowed his head. ”We call it the Spanish Prisoner here,” he said.He got up. ”I will send the price of those films around in the morning.”

  ”You'll call your bank and have the cash pneumoed here tonight,” saidMatheny. ”Also Sam's share. I daresay he can pay you back.”

  ”No harm in trying, was there?” asked Doran humbly.

  ”None at all.” Matheny chuckled. ”In fact, I'm grateful to you. Youhelped me solve my major problem.”

  ”Huh? I did what? How?”

  ”I'll have to investigate further, but I'm sure my hunch will beconfirmed. You see, we Martians have stood in awe of Earthmen. Andsince for a long time there's been very little contact between thetwo planets except the purely official, impersonal sort, there's beennothing to disabuse us. It's certainly true that our organizationscan't compete with yours, because your whole society is based onorganizations. But now, by the same token, I wonder if your individualscan match ours. Ever hear of the Third Moon? No? The whipsaw play? Theaqueduct squeeze? Good Lord, can't you even load a derrel set?”

  Matheny licked his chops. ”So there's our Martian export to Earth.Martian con men. I tell you this under security, of course--not thatanyone would believe you, till our boys walk home with the shirt offthe Terrestrial back.”

  He waved an imperious pipe-stem. ”Hurry up and pay me, please. I'vea date tonight with Peri. I just called her up and explained thesituation and she really _does_ seem to like Martians.”