Innocent at Large Read online

  * * * * *

  Doran blew up in laughter. ”That is one thing I would never spill, evenwithout security. I told you about my girl friend, didn't I?”

  ”Yes, and that calls to mind the Little Girl,” said Mathenyapologetically. ”She was another official project.”

  ”Who?”

  ”Remember Junie O'Brien? The little golden-haired girl on Mars, amathematical prodigy, but dying of an incurable disease? She collectedEarth coins.”

  ”Oh, that. Sure, I remember--Hey! You didn't!”

  ”Yes. We made about a billion dollars on that one.”

  ”I will be double damned. You know, Pete, I sent her a hundred-buckpiece myself. Say, how is Junie O'Brien?”

  ”Oh, fine. Under a different name, she's now our finance minister.”Matheny stared out the wall, his hands twisting nervously behind hisback. ”There were no lies involved. She really does have a fataldisease. So do you and I. Every day we grow older.”

  ”Uh!” exclaimed Doran.

  ”And then the Red Ankh Society. You must have seen or heard their ads.'What mysterious knowledge did the Old Martians possess? What wasthe secret wisdom of the Ancient Aliens? Now the incredibly powerfulsemantics of the Red Ankh (not a religious organization) is availableto a select few--' That's our largest dollar-earning enterprise.”

  He would have liked to say it was his suggestion originally, but itwould have been too presumptuous. He was talking to an Earthman, whohad heard everything already.

  Doran whistled.

  ”That's about all, so far,” confessed Matheny. ”Perhaps a con is ouronly hope. I've been wondering, maybe we could organize a Martianbucket shop, handling Martian securities, but--well, I don't know.”

  ”I think--” Doran removed the helmet and stood up.

  ”Yes?” Matheny faced around, shivering with his own tension.

  ”I may be able to find the man you want,” said Doran. ”I just may. Itwill take a few days and might get a little expensive.”

  ”You mean.... Mr. Doran--Gus--you could actually--”

  ”I cannot promise anything yet except that I will try. Now you finishdressing. I will be down in the bar. And I will call up this girl Iknow. We deserve a celebration!”

  * * * * *

  Peri was tall. Peri was slim. Peri smoldered when she walked andexploded when she stretched. Her apartment was ivory and ebony, hersea-green dress was poured on, and the Neo-Sino mode had obviously beenengineered to her personal specifications.

  She waved twelve inches of jade cigarette holder, lifted her glass andmurmured throatily: ”To you, Pete. To Mars.”

  ”I, I, I,” stammered Matheny. He raised his own glass. It slopped over.”Oh, damn! I mean ... gosh, I'm so sorry, I--”

  ”No harm done. You aren't used to our gravity yet.” Peri extended aflawless leg out of her slit skirt and turned it about on the couch,presumably in search of a more comfortable position. ”And it must seemterribly cramped here on Earth, Pete,” she continued. ”After roamingthe desert, hunting, sleeping under the twin moons. Two moons! Why,what girl could resist that?”

  ”Uh, well, as a matter of fact, the moons are barely visible,”floundered Matheny.

  ”Must you spoil my dreams?” she said. ”When I think of Mars, thefrontier, where men are still men, why, my breast swells with emotion.”

  ”Uh, yes.” Matheny gulped. ”Swell. Yes.”

  She leaned closer to his chair. ”Now that I've got you, don't thinkyou'll get away,” she smiled. ”A live Martian, trapped!”

  Doran looked at his watch. ”Well,” he said, ”I have got to get uptomorrow, so I had better run along now.”

  ”Ta-ta,” said Peri. Matheny rose. She pulled him down beside her. ”Oh,no, you don't, Mars lad. I'm not through with you yet!”

  ”But, but, but,” said Matheny.

  Doran chuckled. ”I'll meet you on the Terrace at fourteen hundred hourstomorrow,” he said. ”Have fun, Pete.”

  The door closed on him.

  Peri slithered toward her guest. He felt a nudge and looked down. Shehad not actually touched him with her hands. ”Gus is a good squiff,”she said, ”but I wondered if he'd ever go.”

  ”Why, why ... what do you mean?” croaked Matheny.

  ”Haven't you guessed?”

  She kissed him. It was rather like being caught in a nuclear turbinewith soft blades.

  _Matheny_, said Matheny, _you represent your planet._

  _Matheny_, said Matheny, _shut up._

  Time passed.

  ”Have another drink,” said Peri, ”while I slip into something morecomfortable.”

  Her idea of comfort was modest in one sense of the word: a nightdressor something, like a breath of smoke, and a seat on Matheny's lap.

  ”If you kiss me like that just once more,” she breathed, ”I'll forgetI'm a nice girl.”

  Matheny kissed her like that.

  The door crashed open. A large man stood there, breathing heavily.”What are you doing with my wife?” he bawled.

  ”Sam!” screamed Peri. ”I thought you were in Australia!”

  * * * * *

  ”And he said he might settle out of court,” finished Matheny. He staredin a numb fashion at his beer. ”He'll come to my hotel room thisafternoon. What am I going to do?”

  ”It is a great shame,” said Doran. ”I never thought.... You know, hetold everybody he would be gone on business for weeks yet. Pete, I ammore sorry than I can express.”

  ”If he thinks I'll pay his miserable blackmail,” bristled Matheny, ”hecan take his head and stick--”

  Doran shook his own. ”I am sorry, Pete, but I would pay if I was you.He does have a case. It is too bad he just happened to be carryingthat loaded camera, but he is a photographer and our laws on Earthare pretty strict about unlicensed correspondents. You could be veryheavily fined as well as deported, plus all the civil-damage claims andthe publicity. It would ruin your mission and even make trouble for thenext man Mars sent.”

  ”But,” stuttered Matheny, ”b-but it's a badger game!”

  ”Look,” said Doran. He leaned over the table and gripped the Martian'sshoulder. ”I am your friend, see? I feel real bad this happened. Ina way, it is my fault and I want to help you. So let me go talk toSam Wendt. I will cool him off if I can. I will talk down his figure.It will still cost you, Pete, but you can pad your expense account,can't you? So we will both come see you today. That way there willbe two people on your side, you and me, and Sam will not throw hisweight around so much. You pay up in cash and it will be the end of theaffair. I will see to that, pal!”

  Matheny stared at the small dapper man. His aloneness came to him likea blow in the stomach. _Et tu, Brute_, he thought.

  He bit his lip. ”Thanks, Gus,” he said. ”You are a real friend.”